When I'm Sad I Slide
by Bhangra Santa
Summary: Based loosely on a song called 'The Slider' be T Rex, this shows The Maruders and Lily at their worst and most vulnerable. Very dark themes...
1. Sirius, Into Depression

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be

Dedication: Well, it's time that I FINALLY say a huge massive glittery THANK YOU to ANYONE who has ever reviewed, faved, or even liked my stories. I just want to say that those reviews really make my day sometimes. People who have faved me, I adore you, it makes me feel loved. People who have read my stories, thanks for taking the time, it means a lot to me.

When I'm Sad I Slide… Into Depression

It had been a rough time. That much was definitely true. You could probably see it from the way I walked, talked, the lack of a cheeky grin or even a false smile. They knew it was bad this time. They had to.

I'd spent the whole summer at my wonderful… home. Pah. Home. It's never been my home, and it never will be. It's just a house, where all of my things live. Yeah, it's where my things live, and I guess where I live.

She'd beaten me. It was just a simple cuff around the ear. The kind a master affectionately gives a dog. I think I had that thought at the time. You know, maybe that she was easing off. That maybe she'd accepted that I am not my Father. Well, I think I smiled at the thought, because it's a bit of a pun. God, I wish I'd never smiled. She saw it. Her eyes turned cold, and I, I… Well, let's say I'll never smile around her again.

I cried. In my room. I was spiralling towards something. A black hole of a something. I was falling, whirling, gliding. Actually, I was sliding. Sliding into this pit. It was like gravity was pulling me, but it wasn't gravity. It was… hurt.

I know that there a million kids like me, who're beaten. Verbally, mentally, pyshically, even sexually. But, well, at school, I'm not one of those kids. I'm Sirius Black. I'm Padfoot. I'm me. But there, I'm none of those. I am 'heir', I am 'son', I am 'young master' and sometimes I'm 'brother'. But what does it mean? What does it prove to be these things? Apart from maybe that I'm two different people.

When I'm sad, I slide into this depression. It shouldn't be real. I don't want it to be. But it is.

**This is part of a series of one-shots. I'll put a space in between each one, but it's based on a song by T-Rex. The Slider. There's a line which goes 'and when I'm sad, I slide' but I doesn't say what he slides into. So, these are my interpretations, based on The Marauders being sad. It'll be good. Hopefully.**


	2. James, Into Drugs

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be

Dedication: This is to Mimi, who's having a tough time of it.

When I'm Sad I Slide… Into Drugs

Well, it's a release. It's my thing, and none of the others know about it. It's what makes me James Potter, but not that they'll ever know that.

They all think I should be happy. I have a big house, money, a new broom and a cat called My Wife. I don't know why the cat's called that. It just is. They all think I'm happy. I'm James! The leader, the mediator, the brother, the idol, the chaser. But I want to be James, the boy.

Well, my friends turn to me. They look to me for advice, for comfort. They want me to be big old squishy James, the guy who'll do stuff for YOU. Well, what if I want people to do stuff for me? What if I want comofort and advice? What if I want help?

But no. James Potter doesn't need that stuff. All James needs is a broom and Lily Evans. Well, I have a broom, and I'll have Lily Evans in a year or so. But until then, if I have a problem, what do I need? Cocaine. That's what James Potter needs.

It's a release. Wait, have I already said that? Probably, I'm not that good with words. But, this makes me like all those other kids out there. This makes me just James. This makes me… well me. It makes me let go of worries about Peter and his homework and Remus and his moon, and Sirius and his family. This makes me worry about me, and my next fix.

Am I selfish for not wanting to care, for just five minutes? Tell me if I am.


	3. Remus, Into Someone

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be

Dedication: To… KawaiiTenshi27, not only one of my best reviewers, but also one of the best writers.

A/N: I'd just like to ask, very briefly, what people think of this story. Should I write loooaaaaddddsss more stuff like this, or maybe a few good fluffs, or maybe something with a plot (God Forbid!)? If you have the kindness to review, please tell me!

When I'm Sad I Slide… Into Someone

Technically, it's legal. I mean, I'm over sixteen, so are… most of them. They're faceless, they're not real, so I don't actually care if it's legal.

To look at me, you wouldn't think I was this sort of sex maniac. I'm not really, but whi

It's been four weeks up here, and I've come to this small pub almost every night. There's always a willing girl, and sometimes a willing boy. There's enough B+B's around, and if you know the right one, it's cheap too. When I'm sad, I slide into this person, and I guess it helps.

But not really.


	4. Peter, Into Drink

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be

Dedication: To Rebecca, who doesn't want a deication, but is getting one.

When I'm Sad I Slide… Into Drink

When Dad was here, he drank. A lot. When he left, and I was man of the house, I drank.

It started with just being there for Mum. She drinks to forget, and when she did, I had to look after my brothers and sisters. But, I'm not strong. Not like James, or Sirius, or even Remus. But then, they don't have this shit. James has everything, Sirius is just spoilt, and Remus, well, it's his fault he left his house when he was five.

But I drank, after Mum had finished drinking. She just passed out. Good Riddance bitch, leaving me with this. Well, she had her Vodka, I had my Gin. Simple. She drinks to forget Dad, I drink to forget her. But you know what else I want to forget? Them. My so called friends.

It's not that they ignore me purposefully. James has so many activities and he's always after that bloody red-head. Sirius is always in his girls and his stupid family issues. And Remus makes the whole moon thing bigger than it is. I mean it can't bloody well hurt that much, he should just take a potion. But they are always wrapped up in themselves. What about me? What about Pete? Pete can't be wrapped up in himself, he has to look after Mummy Pettigrew and the whiny brats.

Yeah well. You see my problem. I don't get to relax, I have to think about all this crap. I'll probably have to spend my life looking after Mum, who'll drink herself to death pretty soon. When she does (because there is no 'if' about it) I'll be stuck with the kids, because Lord knows that stupid man called Dad won't want to be.

But what if I take up that offer? That offer from the blond git that I'm supposed to be against. Yeah, him. Lucius Malfoy. He says I could be worth something, like the Hat said when I was being Sorted. It said I could be great. That's what Malfoy is saying. I could be great, because pure blood does flow through my veins. I could help this great man, this Dark Lord. Maybe, I could. That would show everyone.

Peter Pettigrew is not to be forgotten.


	5. Lily, Literally

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be

Dedication: To Laura, who I hope will always just be Laura.

When I'm Sad I Slide… Literally.

I have arguments with her. All the time in fact. She calls me freak, I call her bitch, She goes to her room, I go to the kiddy play-park at the end of the road.

I always liked the slide. It's so simple. It's always just there. The swings used to scare me, still do to some extent. They go so high, and if you fall off, bad things happen. The round-a-bout is too fast. I'm too tall for the monkey bars. So the slide, my first and only playground love, is perfect.

On the slide, I can just sit, and away I go. It's not as thrilling as when I was four, and the slide was twice as big as me, not the other way around. But even when I don't slide down, I can just sit, with a sense of superiority of being higher than ground-level. I can think back to when I wasn't a witch, but just Lily.

But just Lily is boring, despite what Petunia says.

**Well, that's the end of my first sort-of-chaptered-but-not-really. I hope you enjoyed it, I sort of did.**

**Oh yes, and I'm posting this at around the same time as Chapter 4. I don't think that many people enjoyed it. Which is good actually, as it means that I have no obligation to write depressing crap. I am now free to write fluff. Psh. Yeah right.**


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